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All Talk: When Internet Dating Becomes Internet Pen Paling

By msscarletibis · November 9, 2010 · 0 Comments ·

Internet Dating—I know some don’t enjoy talking about that or admitting that they do so (even though a good number of folks do these days), but I am not one of those people.  Devotees are knowledgeable of this, of course, but I just wanted to put that out there for the new people.

 
Gentle readers, have you ever found yourself playing email tag with an awesomely awesome person online for days, and then weeks, and then…nothing?  They pretty much fall off the face of the earth as far you’re concerned?

  

Well, recently, well, really a few weeks ago, I found myself in a similar situation.  Except, the email tagging lasted for one night, for we then switched to Gmail chat, and then the phone—all in the same evening.  In fact, we found ourselves talking on the phone for an average of two hours nightly for about three weeks.  And then…

  
Nothing.

 
The nothingness followed shortly after my inquiries of actually meeting in person.  Because that’s how the process works, right?  You talk—feel one another out to see if you even feel like being bothered by this person, and if you do, you make plans to meet for coffee or drinks or something similar.  Well, that’s how it’s supposed to, but lately, I, like others have found that this may not be the intention of some people.

  

I surmise that what usually occurs is perhaps the other person is talking to a couple of people at once and then proceeds to go about the process of elimination.  Which is fine, of course, but does it really hurt to drop a quick email to the other person and let them know what’s going on?  Or in my specific case (although, I have experienced the “abundance of emails” thing as well before the person decided to just not talk anymore), would it have hurt to give me a ring and let me know?  Just as a common courtesy.

But of course, courtesy is not all that common these days.


A friend of mine actually deleted his profile from a site because of this jerky reoccurrence—tired of the mass amounts of B.S. and douche behavior (my descriptive words—not his).  Honestly?  I can’t say that I blame him.  If I weren’t merely passing the time on there, I’d probably do it too.  At any rate, it’s given me something that’s else to write about.

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posted by
11/12/10

I Suspect the person was afraid of disappointing you, or just testing the waters and not entirely sure they wanted to really do anything "real". If it's the later, you'll probably hear from them again. Something like, "hi, getting ready for the holidays?". Then you can choose to either go another round, or ignore it.


posted by Sweet Dee
11/12/10

This has totally happened to me... We went almost a month of gchatting and e-mailing and texting. I would prod him to meet up but he would keep coming up with excuses about how he was too busy or he really wanted to take me out somewhere nice, not just meet up for a quick coffee.. finally I confronted him head on about it and then he disappeared completely and I never heard from him again. it sucked because i had really liked him, but i guess it was better for me in the end- i mean, who wants a boyfriend who can't spare 30 minutes out of their week to meet up with you..?


posted by
11/12/10

@lickety split--

That may be the case...but that sounds like a game to me. I think everyone should be upfront and forthright. That's in an ideal world, I know, but it's unfortunate that it's not the case :/


posted by
11/12/10

@Sweet Dee--

Are you me? :P

It's confusing, to be sure. I think men (or women) like that should just join an e-paling site if that's all they want to do. If you aren't actually interested in the dating aspect of internet dating, then maybe you shouldn't be on an internet dating site.


posted by
11/12/10

Sounds to me like alot of bored married guys online chatting....cynical, I know.


posted by
11/12/10

@jazzytummy

Cynical, yes, but...

Perhaps possible :/


posted by
11/12/10

yea you can really get caught up in the whole texting bit too. you both text all the time but never actually see the person.


posted by
11/12/10

@teentrends--

See, that's why I loathe texting...it's like some people have a phobia of actual talking now :/


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